A facilitation technique that originated in many indigenous traditions is that of the "talking stick." A talking stick is an object that is passed from person to person in the group, indicating who has the right to speak at that moment. The agreement is that this person will speak from the heart, or even hold the stick in silence, while the others listen with attention and respect. The speaker cannot be interrupted and is expected to share his or her deepest wisdom regarding the topic under discussion, as clearly and succinctly as possible. The listeners, in turn, are expected to give their full attention to the speaker with the intention of truly hearing what is being communicated, no matter how different it may be from their own points of view.

The object used may, in fact, be a wooden stick, often adorned with ribbons, feathers, shells or other decorations. Some traditions expect the stick to be held at the level of the heart, symbolically connecting the speaker to the sacred power and wisdom of earth and the sky. The object can also be a feather, stone, gourd, one of the facilitator's markers, a saltshaker or any item that is relatively rigid (not floppy) and easy to hold.

While it is definitely not necessary to use a talking stick all the time, it can be especially helpful when the intention is to encourage each person to share his or her thoughts and feelings on a topic. When emotions are running high, a talking stick can help calm the group and promote respectful listening instead of heated argument. Another advantage of using a talking stick is that is lets the conversation flow freely among the group members, without having to go through the facilitator. The talking stick itself becomes the facilitator!

Warnings If a talking stick is to be introduced into the circle, it is important to explain the protocol for using it and to be consistent in respecting these norms. If the group consistently forgets to use the stick appropriately (interrupting the speaker, leaving the stick on the table or floor instead of holding it, etc), then it is better to withdraw the stick and use a speaker's list or other method for keeping track of who has the floor.

Although, as mentioned above, the talking stick can take many forms, it is important that it be appropriate to the group's culture. For example, it is not a good idea to use an object that is highly sacred for some - but not all - members of the group. If, out of ignorance, some people mishandle the object, those for whom it is sacred will be offended and the object's value as a talking stick will be lost. Similarly, an object that provokes more silliness than seriousness is usually not a good choice. For example, a toy stuffed animal that people start tossing around instead of handing over with care quickly transforms the discussion into a game. In short, if the object being used as the talking stick is distracting the group instead of focusing its attention, it is time to change the dynamic!